One of the biggest shifts in my thinking came about when I first read The 4-Hour Workweek (which has recently been republished in an expanded version). This new shift was that you could consciously design your lifestyle down to the tiniest detail including what you do and what you own.
I was later introduced to an even more powerful catalyst for choice, a question that you’ve probably crossed paths with before in some form, which is:
What would your perfect average day look like?
Although with either approach you’re achieving similar aims – deliberately choosing the direction of your life – with this specific question you take into account the aspect that’s easy to overlook: the day-to-day activities that aren’t exciting thrill rides and it’s easier to create the life you want when you can create the days you want.
Also, “average” doesn’t mean “boring” or “mundane” but regular. You’re not going to win the lottery every day (as much as you’d like too), that would be unrealistic. The purpose of the question is to think about what the majority of your days will be like, the days when you’re not battling Krakens or base jumping from Burj Dubai, while still finding fulfillment in your actions.
I remember the first time I attempted to define my perfect average day and aside from determining that I planned to wake up (that is a good place to start at least) it was tricky, even painful to ponder how to be fulfilled on the average day.
I hope to make the exercise a tad less excruciating (okay, it’s not that difficult) and eliminate the fears you’ll face as you begin to make progress.
Start with the confines. Calculate the limits you need to work with and write these down. No matter how much you crave freedom there will always be some limits, even on your perfect average day.
When do you wake up? When do you go to sleep? At what points in the day will you need to eat food? There’s no need to work sequentially. Start with these obligatory parts of nature, and work your way from there.
You can’t build a plane without working with the laws of gravity, and you can’t design your perfect average day without working with the laws of nature. Embrace environmental restrictions and work with them.
Write in the present tense. Avoid language like “I will do this…” Pretend you’re writing about this perfect average day as it’s happening:
6am – I wake up.
8am – I go for a run.
9am – I go for a swim.
There’s probably a kooky new age explanation of why this is so powerful, but for the more practical folks, I feel it makes the day seem less like some distant hope, and more like something that could genuinely happen tomorrow. You are put in the right mindset to start the taking action now that’s necessary to bring your thoughts to reality.
Rush through it. When you start writing (or typing) don’t worry about your day looking perfect at first. There’s a good chance that until you’ve completed this exercise a few times your perfect average day concept will be soiled by the expectations of others rather than what you truly want out of life.
Jot down your thoughts down quickly and the rest of the meat can be worked in later on. It’s most important to get your mind actively focused and working on the task at hand rather than perfecting it as you go.
Be insanely specific. You can’t be too specific when designing your perfect average day. It’s impossible. Once you’ve rushed through the exercise go back and add details to each element.
For example, say you’ve written that you want to “wake up at 6am” and then “have breakfast” ask yourself these questions, and then write the answers down:
- Is anyone beside you when you wake up? What is your bed like? Are you doused with sunlight?
- What do you want for breakfast? Who do you eat it with? Or do you eat it by yourself?
Reverse engineer all the elements of your day in the same way. With this extreme specificity you’re able to clearly visualize what it is you exactly what, and in turn you’re motivated by this burning desire to transform this possibility into a reality.
Dream bigger. It’s easy to aim small. But anything worth doing isn’t easy. The more ambitious you are, the more motivated you’ll be to fulfill your desires as you’ll be driven by excitement and our good ol’ friend adrenaline.
What you need to be careful with though is to not mistake “bigger” for “more.”
If you’ve determined that everything you want out of life would be sustainable (including savings) at $30,000 per year there’s no need to suddenly aim for $1,000,000 for the sake of it. Instead, focus on improving your dreams qualitatively.
Perhaps a small dream would be traveling the world, working a couple of hours a day on your laptop. A bigger version of that dream would cut those hours in half (or more even) and at the same time be in less of a rush than the former desire.
But on that same token, don’t feel bad for wanting more money, just give it a purpose. Perhaps you a bit more income would make for good savings? Or would let you be less stingy when it comes to eating out?
Link actions with emotion. How will you (or “do you” since you’re writing in the present tense) feel when you complete the actions outlined in your perfect average day?
Writing down “wake up at 6am” is a cold, analytical approach that you can’t connect with on an emotional level and therefore it never elevates to the status of a burning desire, something that you truly want out of life.
The alternative would be to write:
I wake up at 6am, feeling clear headed, excited for the day, and bursting with enthusiasm. I can’t wait to get up and get moving, get lost in my work, and enjoy every moment to its fullest.
See the difference? It brings the idea into a humane reality instead of a dull fact. Focus on the feelings.
Revise regularly. This is not a one time exercise. Perhaps it’s not necessary to rewrite your entire perfect average day regularly (would be good to do that though) but spend time revisiting certain parts of your day and verify that you’re conforming to your own standards. When doing this I prefer to work sequentially.
Right now I’m working on perfecting my morning for example because how you start your day is how you continue your day. I’ve regularly outlined what I felt the perfect morning would be and am working on creating conducive habits to achieve that aim.
Once I feel my morning is nice and polished I’ll work my way through improving the middle of the day, then onto the afternoon, and finally night-time. Tackle revisions in small, digestible chunks.
Play with it. In the early days I feel it’s best to work at conforming to the day you set for yourself to get used to the process of forming new habits and processes for doing things. But don’t confine yourself to strict, step-by-step plans for the sake of it. Just this morning for example I “broke” my own rules, by going to the computer to blast some music (from the local duo Angus and Julia Stone if you were wondering) instead of having a shower or eating breakfast.
This seems like a lack of will power, and I guess it was, but it was nevertheless a great way to start the day, and after knocking out the majority of this article while listening to the music I continued my day as usual (shower, eating breakfast, sitting out in the sun etc). The lesson from this is to use your perfect average day as a benchmark, but don’t be afraid to stray away from it at times. You may just discover that what you assumed to be a negative habit actually uplifts you.
Fearlessness
Seeking the fulfillment of a vision such as your perfect average day can be a scary process. The day-to-day fears arising from self-doubt of the actions you take are unfortunately unavoidable, and simply become more comfortable as time goes on. But the larger fears, the fears that you’ll never achieve your perfect average day – these can be eliminated. They must be eliminated.
Understand the why. What is motivating you to achieve your perfect average day? Is it because you’ll feel a certain way? Or do you have some higher purpose you feel driven to achieve?
My “why” is fairly simply, and cliché, stemming from an example included in Vagabonding: An Uncommon Guide to the Art of Long Term World Travel. Basically, when I’m a grandparent in the distant future I don’t want to have my grandchildren disappointed with what I did, and I don’t want to have any regrets either. I want to be able to say “Look at all the amazing stuff I’ve done that I’m incredibly proud of, and you can do the same.”
Thinking about your motivations transforms your shoulds, the things you know you should do, into musts, into actions, habits and desires that are the most important aspects of your life, that become second nature like breathing. When you understand your why your purpose will pull you through times of fear and worry.
Coincidentally enough I just stumbled across this quote from George Lucas (this is happening in real-time people):
“You have to find something that you love enough to be able to take risks, jump over the hurdles and break through the brick walls that are always going to be placed in front of you. If you don’t have that kind of feeling for what it is you are doing, you’ll stop at the first giant hurdle.”
That something you love is your why.
Start with the smallest changes. Often it’s the smallest changes that have the biggest impact. As I wrote about in Working on the Web and Having a Life I’ve recently started blocking myself from emails and other distractions for the majority of the day (and now I can’t access email on weekends too). This required about 5 minutes of setup, but has been a huge change in the way in which I work and how easily I flow with my idea of the perfect average day.
There’s no need to rush for perfection and get burnt out or overwhelmed. Each day try to see if you can make one small, positive change towards your day, even as small as following through with a desired habit, and be content with that. Over time these will snow ball and the final leap to perfection will be little more than a crack in the road to step over.
Resort to pessimism. How much will your life suck if you don’t follow your dreams and achieve your perfect average day? In our post-The Secret [Note: I dislike that book very much] world this is seen as a big no-no, but as I’ve discussed when sharing the 33 rules of persistence, the only detrimental aspect of pessimism is when you focus on it – in small doses it can become a great kick in the butt to stick it out through the tough times.
Don’t hide from the fears you have for your life. Don’t blur the lines between fulfillment and merely comfort. Identify the realistic and most painful aspects of life that could arise or, if they’re already present, increase. Use these pains as motivators to change.
Live your 80% vision. It’s easy to look at your perfect average day and say “Oh noes, there’s so much I have to do, it’s all impossible!” But that’s a complete lie. There’s a very good chance that much of what you want to do is within your grasp, or you can at least prepare for it – you just need to be mindful of it.
This was true in my experience. I’ve mentioned in the past about my dreams of wandering the world, writing about things I love etc. And while the wandering is somewhat delayed (not for too long, don’t worry) just because I’m not in another country doesn’t mean I can’t wake up early, have a shower, enjoy a nice meal, write about things I love, read a few chapters of an engaging book and hang out with friends – essentially go through with all of the easily achievable aspects of my vision. These things are simple habitual changes.
You have more in your grasp than you realize. And that’s not some inspirational “you can do it!” quip. It’s a fact. Once you take the time to do this exercise you’ll see that you’re able to live your 80% vision now, you’re able to do the majority of what you want to do but simply require the jolt to decide what it is you actually want to do.
Don’t give up on the remaining 20% of your vision. Don’t settle. But once you’re living at a higher capacity of happiness and fulfillment you’re able to make smarter decisions and remain persistent compared to someone in a miserable situation fueled by negativity. And there’s even a chance you’ll come to realize that the final 20% was extraneous crap anyways, and within a very short period of time will have unleashed your perfect average day.
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How do you design your perfect average day? And what does it look like?
Photo: seanmcgrath
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And this is my blog, Adventures of a Barefoot Geek. I write about a range of topics including how to achieve peace of mind, mobility and simplicity - all mixed in with some good ol' fashioned geekery.
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Hey David,
Great post. Your writing inspires me, I must say. I too am planning to ramble and write very soon indeed. I’m still 17 just out of school, so maybe in a year or so. I work for myself at home (writing – actually I’m quite similar to yourself, in terms of ‘work’ at least), so designing my perfect day shouldn’t be too hard! (hopefully!)
Love the blog!
Thanks
Dean
Good stuff Dean. Getting in this space at a young age is such a big advantage (or at least it’s been helpful myself).
Kudo to the post and i have bookmarked your RSS feeds for more updates.
Glad to have you as a reader Tom. And thanks for the comment.
Hey David,
God, dude, I’m so jealous that you can pump out meaty, value-filled posts like this. There’s literally nothing left to do afterward than pick up a pen and paper and start outlining my perfect day. Seriously.
Have a great one!
Ha, thanks Brett. Following through with the exercise is the best thing I could ever ask for.
Heya David,
Another awesome post. I was just wondering earlier today where you went. I would also add that you don’t necessarily have to stick to your ultimate average day religiously. Sometimes life throws stuff at you that you couldn’t even imagine, and they are far better than you imagined.
My perfect average day? I’m going to have to think about that one ;).
That’s a great point Henri, and I probably should’ve talked about that in greater detail. The idea of a perfect average day is really meant to just get you thinking about what’s really important to you and how you move between different activities etc.
It’s a powerful method to visualize your perfect average day… although I have to admit I never manage to stick to the schedules I make up. There are just too many spontaneous things happening each and every day. But it doesn’t really matter. Just the process of thinking about it and the exercise of consciously structuring my day has been very helpful, even though I won’t really follow it in detail afterwards. As this is the way it works for me, I absolutely agree with you that it’s helpful to review your day from time to time!
That’s a fine way to use the exercise Fabian. Simply as a fluid guide to make your days better.
Great article. one point though – the guys base jumped off the Burj Dubai not the Burj Al Arab which is a hotel
Oh, woops. I’ll fix that up. Thanks for the correction.
Yo David – great post man, this really breaks the whole process down. I first learned of the describe your average day from Frank Kern and from there it has been something I have done on a few occasions and now preach.
Getting thoughts, beliefs and emotions out of your head and onto paper (way better than on the computer, for now!) is so powerful for your brain. It’s like a trigger that says, “now that I wrote this down, I have to do something about it.”
Having these thoughts and beliefs in your head can easily be clouded and avoided. There is something about staring at your goals that is truly powerful. Great post again dude.
I think it was Frank Kern who I learnt this technique from too. Although I’ve seen it crop up in quite a few places so I wasn’t sure who to credit it too. And that’s a good point about the exercise being a trigger. It’s that jolt that gets you going and realizing that “Yes, I can craft my days the I way I want them to be.” Thanks for the comment Greg.
I love this concept. Who says that every day has to be this extraordinary experience? Average days are awesome. This shows that reverse engineering anything can be such a beneficial experience. I’ve got to follow this idea as soon as possible because I’ve never really thought of actually putting this stuff in writing. Great post as usual.
It’s definitely one of those exercises that sounds awesome but is easy to put off. But writing your thoughts down about the perfect average day is such a powerful action.
Hey David.
I like this here. We can design our day to our specifications, and those who say this is not doable are not seeing their abilities. All around, I see folks who have more than enough room and opportunity to adjust their day to a type of day they are satisfied with.
Writing in the present tense sure makes it a bit more real. It makes it feel like that is the time we go and do that action, and like it is set in stone from a past self thinking about the future self.
You are right about being specific, because any details we leave out of the planning for this ideal average day will likely not make it into our future average day, because nothing just happens by itself. If we want to have exercise occurring at 6 PM every 2 days, that has to be in the plan, along with what exercise, like swimming, and how long we will do it for, and so on. The more detailed we get, the more likely we are to do it too, because we feel foolish when we detail a lot and don’t act.
Empowering concept behind this article.
Thanks for stopping by Armen, and for leaving your thoughts. Much appreciated.
I enjoyed this post and will set aside some time this weekend to map out my perfect average day. This post also got me thinking about personal creeds or mission statements. Have you considered writing a post on how to construct a mission statement?
Good to hear Kyle. Make sure you don’t forget to do it. ;)
And in terms of mission statements, it’s not really something I’ve ever spent time on, although I guess “Write and wander” is somewhat of a mission statement (and something I repeat to myself regularly).
Any thoughts on testing your ‘perfect day’ to check it’s sustainable? Appropriate work-play-rest balance etc. I’ve not got 4HWW yet, but I know Tim is a fan of testing and analysing absolutely everything.
I can’t help thinking the focus here is too short term and you lose sight of your actual goals.
Could it be that in the quest for the ‘perfect’ day we have an incentive which encourages us to instil some discipline in our daily routine? It will still give us good results, but it is discipline towards clear goals which gives the real results. Just a thought.
I like the blog, I’m a 19 y/o student at the same stage as yourself in self-development in these professional skills and disciplines (I’m still trying to figure out how to describe this :D).
Thanks for the comment James. In terms of testing your perfect day, it’s probably best to just test time periods in blocks. For example, you’d craft your perfect morning and test it out for a week. And then the time around lunch etc.
And what I got from the exercise was the act of consciously choosing what you want to do each day. It doesn’t mean you have to conform to your perfect day constantly, but there is always that available choice.
Lol, seriously mate, what have you been doing to get such epic spikes in subscribers. I must know man.
Ha, I wish I had a secret formula. Seriously just the post from Zen Habits though. Everything snowballed from there.
Wait what? You had a post on Zen Habits? Nice man.
I have been testing out my perfect “average day” for a couple of days now. It’s amazing the difference between my original plan and what I actually get done. It was all too easy to get distracted and raid the cookie jar or browse the web, especially on the first attempt. But on the second attempt things went smoother, since I knew what to watch for. It was enjoyable and fulfilling – I scheduled in meditation, 2nd language learning, reading and exercise.
TIPS
* Don’t keep junk food or snacks around!
* Spend at least half an hour early in the day to plan the day
* Start the day with your vision board or by reviewing your “why”. Even better start each major task by reviewing your why. It will keep you focused.
I love and use all of your tips Maggie. Except the vision board, everything I want to do/be/experience is already within me, but it would be awesome to see it visually.
I’ve found that my discipline is questionable at best and if I want to eat healthier (my dream is to one day eat 100% raw) then it is best if I don’t keep junk food around!
Davids blog is great, I’m sure I’ll see you around here in the future :)
~Mike
Thanks for stopping by Maggie. That’s awesome that you’ve been having success with the strategy, and thanks for sharing those great tips. I haven’t got myself a vision board, but it’s recommended so often that I may have to go and make one.
Love the way you are focusing on your mornings and allowing them to serve as a catalyst for the rest of your day. I find that when my mornings go off well, my days naturally follow suit.
I design everyday and review the results every night (quickly) and do a detailed review every 21 days or so. One thing to note is that I take all of this “designing my day” stuff very serious, but at the same time, I don’t take it serious at all—if that makes any sense. What I mean is that I am open to all the wonderful surprises that life brings and if we take too rigid of an approach with designing our day and life, we are liable to miss out on so many wonderful things.
Anyway, I thought I’d share with you my average day, the times are estimates, sometimes I sleep in :)
- 5:45 AM- Wake up and immediately perform my yoga and meditation practices
- 8:00 AM- Work on my most important task/project for one hour, uninterrupted. (I find that my entire system is the perfect state to perform creative work)
- 9:00 AM-I will tackle another task, usually writing, for the next hour. That is 2 hours of focused, uninterrupted work immediately following my morning practices. Perfect morning for me right here.
10:00 AM- I will take my dogs for a run to break mind set and get some sun. I will sometimes do a quick push-up/pull-up type workout.
10:30 AM- Green Smoothie (mix of greens and fruit) or Tender/Young Coconut
11:00 AM- 1:00 PM- Catch up on my rss feeds (like this one!), twitter, facebook etc and catch up with old friends and make new ones. My goal during this time is to simply be open and helpful and of course, I hope to learn something from all the wonderful experiences shared by others.
1:00 PM- I’ll grab a quick shower and do a short meditation here followed by my first big meal of the day.
2:00 PM-11 PM- I have 2 teenagers that get home from school soon, so around this time, I start shifting my focus to being more spontaneous, creating special moments for the people around me and just all around doing whatever is needed.
Half my day is designed and the other half is kind of like organized chaos :)
Another great article bro,
~Mike
Great stuff Mike. Your perfect average day is coming along quite nicely. And by the sounds of it your approach is much more scientific than my own, so good job at showing me up. ;)
Nice Post.
Mornings are a really important part of the day. I started waking up at 3 a.m. recently to start my day. It started as an experiment that I wrote a post about but now its a way of life.
I would probably say that it is a good idea to leave yourself no other option. When we have too many options, it is easy to get distracted.
Thanks for the comment Ralph. I’m reading through that post you wrote about waking up at 3am and it’s intriguing stuff. I might have to try something similar, although maybe make it 5am – I don’t think the family would appreciate me thumping around the house too early in the morning.
Hi David,
Brilliant blog! It has got me thinking and right now I’m trying to fit it into my life. Waking up at around 6 AM should help me study… I’m a 15 year old student and a newbie blogger. I also share your dislike of The Secret, though some people swear it works. Speaking from personal experience, the Secret remained the secret to me (excuse the bad pun ;)).
Regards
Ajay
Thanks for the kind words Ajay. And in terms of my problem with The Secret, I just felt it was a smarmy, shallow approach to materialistic success. But that’s a rant for another day (or perhaps never).
David this is the first post of yours that I came across and I really enjoyed it. I loved how you emphasized consciously planning your ideal day! So many people complain about a lack of time or things “just happening.” In reality, these serve as convenient excuses for not taking control of the direction our life is headed.
I will be back and am now following you on Twitter! Have great holidays!
Hey Kevin, thanks for stopping by. Very glad to have you as a reader and thanks for the kind words too.
I just want to say, congratulations on crossing 1100 readers David! Keep it going!
Hey David,
I am a new reader of your blog from Oz! Just want to let you know how inspiring it is that someone like you,who is still quite young, is taking charge of their life and following their passion! Awe-inspiring mate! Keep it up :)
Ah, thanks for the kind words Diana. I’m checking through your blog right now and I’m absolutely loving your sketches. I hope to see your name show up in the comments n the coming weeks and months. ;)
I am a new reader but love your stuff already David…I started my New Year by starting Zen to Done and will be adding your RSS feed to my regular reading…I really enjoy your writing style and unique insights and observations.
Thanks Sean, that means a lot. And I’m glad to have you as a reader.
wow this post was the best!
Heres the less specific condensed version of my perfect average day:
10:30am wake up in a cool bungalow
10:45am walk down to the beach and wake myself up in the water
11:00am head up to the local outdoor restaurant and grab a pad thai, some fruit and chat with the group members
11:30am plan a hike to the nearby viewpoint for everyone
12:00-2:00 hike to and spend time with drinks and snacks at the viewpoint
2:15 grab some barbeque chicken and fruit from the street corner
2:30 – 3:15 teach a qi-gong lesson
3:30 – 5:30 give a surfing lesson to the interested group members
6:00-7:00 get people together for an awesome buffet dinner
7:30 make some calls to confirm the details of our next destination
8:00 head out to watch a fire show or a music show
9:30 play guitar over some drinks at an outside patio with the group
10:30 head to the nearby beach party for a night of dancing and craziness
hehe what an amazing day! The reason this could be average is because my dream job is to become an adventure travel guide and take people on these kinds of trips!
Awesome stuff mate. Once you get that dream job shoot me and email and I might have to just be one of those group members.
Love it David! Great writing, and one of my personal favorite conscious change exercises. I periodically do this exercise myself, and you have reminded me that it’s been a while.
Thanks a bunch man, have a fan-friggity-tastic day
Ryan
Thanks for the comment and compliments Ryan. Much appreciated (and you have a flippin’ good day too).
This seriously could be the least complicated high impact life changer anybody could do. I started writing mine out last night but only got through the morning, but even that small change completely made me aware that i already can do most of what I want to. Even while working my current 9-5.
Thanks man, keep on bringing the good stuff
Good stuff Scott! Great that you followed through with the advice and it worked.